The Queue Jumper

Cast:	Person (P), Granny (G), Lawyer (L), Mafia Boss (M), Christian (C), Conductor (BC)  Non Speaking: Queue Jumper (QJ) , Driver, some extras.

(Scene:  A bus stop.  Extras at the front with P, QJ, L, M and C behind.)
(Bus pulls up.  While P fumbles for wallet, QJ gets on.  P goes to get on too.)
BC	Sorry, no more room.
P	What!!  I was in front of him!  He pushed in! (Bus drives away)  OI! Come back. I don't believe it.  Now I'm going to be late for work.  My boss will probably sack me on the spot.  (Shouting after bus)  And it's all your fault.
G	Who are you talking to dearie?
P	Didn't you see what happened?  Some idiot jumped the queue.  I can't believe the state of society today.
G	When's the next bus due?
P	That's just it!  You're prepared to stand there and do nothing.  Well I'm not.  This time they've gone too far.  I'm going to find that horrible person and give him a piece of my mind. And probably a piece of my fist too.
G	Don't you think that's a bit severe.
P	Maybe.  No, actually it's not severe enough!  Did anyone get the number of that bus.  I'll trace the owner and sue them for every penny they've got.
L	(Stepping forward)  Did someone say sue?
P	Yes. Why?
L	Allow me to introduce myself.  I am Mr Sneer, of Sue Cripple and Sneer, Solicitors.  How may I be of service?
P	Someone queue jumped me and took my place on the bus.  The conductor didn't do a thing about it.  I intend to prosecute to the full extent of the law.
L	Unfortunately the two pound fine for queue jumping was removed three years ago, but you could still sue the conductor for "slight unfairness", under section 46b subsection 5 of the citizens charter.  
P	How much for?
L	How much do you stand to lose?
P	My job, and probably my home and family as a result.
L	In that case I would put in for, let's see, er, shall we say five million.  Yes I would think about that.
P	Great, that'll show them.  Where do we start?
L	Once the relevant forms, applications, injunctions, summonses, subpoenas, statements and affidavits, have been completed, we can then start to think towards a preliminary hearing at which it might be possible to get onto the main waiting list for a full case.
P	How long is this waiting list? 
L	The number of lawsuits in the pipeline is rather large at the moment.  If you are lucky, your great grandchildren might get to see some of the money, although whether it will be enough to pay the costs is another matter.
P	Couldn't it happen any quicker?  What if money was no object?
L	I'm sorry, time is the only factor where money cannot influence the legal system.
G	Don't worry dearie, there's more than one way to knit a tea towel.  I'm quite friendly with the man from the council.  He's a very nice man who sometimes comes to fix my toilet.  I'm sure he'd be able to do something about it.

P	Thanks, but it'll take more than a plunger up that guy's nose to satisfy my need for revenge.
M	Excuse me.  I couldn't help overhearing about your little problem.  But if you're after a quicker solution and you're serious about money being no object, I'm your boss, I mean man.  Here's my card.
P	G.F.  Not the G.F?  But what are you doing here?
M	I'm in hiding, undercover.  But I'm always ready to help a possible client.
P	How can help me?
M	I could put you on to one of my people who specialises in quick solutions of a more permanent nature.
P	You mean an assassination?
M	Not at all.  My organisation prides itself on its professional approach.  The only word in our vocabulary is 'accident', if you get my meaning.
P	But I don't even know who the bloke was.
M	No problem, we have eyes almost everywhere, and ears everywhere else.
P	But that still leaves the bus conductor, and the bus.  There wouldn't have been a problem if the bus had been larger.
M	If public transport's your enemy, I can blow up almost any major station, road or vehicle with a touch of a button.  Think of it as giving the government a second chance to do it the right way.
C	Look, I think this is getting rather out of hand.
P	This is a desperate situation that requires desperate measures.
CC	Come off it.  Listen, with a bit of love and forgiveness, this thing will sort itself out. Forgive the guy who queue jumped, then you won't get arrested for beating him up or killing him.  Apologise and explain to your boss, and if he still sacks you, then love will hold your family together, so you can't lose everything. 
G	Well Mr Christian, that's a sweet idea, but let me tell you that I haven't had as much as a phone call from my family in over thirty years now.  I was very close to my daughters, but then they went and fell in love, and it tore our family apart. What happened to their love for me?
L	And what can forgiveness achieve?  I've seen convicted criminals say they're sorry.  I've heard widows say they forgive the murderer.  But I've never seen a crime undo itself because of it.
M	And what of the really big problems.  Famine, plague, massive unemployment. I can provide, jobs, security, and welfare, for a price.  I have no need of love.  Love has no power so solve any of these problems.
C	Then you do not know about the love that I know.  For true love does not separate, it unites.  love may not be able to set history straight, but true love can restore the soul.  And let me remind you, that it was because of love, that God himself died on the cross, to provide a solution to the worlds greatest problem, the sin of mankind. 

	The End

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